Green Spring

The biting cold of winter was not yet over as the early spring months flew across the pages of the calendar. The budding of the trees and the sleepy yawns of the earliest flowers were still dealing with the kiss of frost in the early morning and the whipping winds of a season that was not yet ready to relinquish control over the world.

However, there was the occasional warmth, uncharacteristic of the darkness, and very welcome.

Esther, a Crook who had had the unfortunate responsibility of returning to the new unknown realm, had overdressed for the occasion. She was a brutish eight feet tall and dwarfed many of the inhabitants of the hamlet that she had discovered the first time she had arrived here, though the blistering rains were absent, taken over by an obscenely blue sky and wild white clouds bursting with uncertainty. Woolhope was the name of the place.

She had come to visit the Scarfox that had housed her previously.

The other residents of Woolhope were eagerly shedding their heavy coats and thick scarves for the brief period that the sun would allow them. Some of them had even recognized Esther, and made an effort to assist her in finding Pepper’s downtrodden cottage again though they were hesitant to go any further once they reached the gate on the cobblestone path.

And the cottage was, indeed, still as dilapidated as before. The windows still dusty, the flowerboxes off-center, and the door chipped and sad. There was a nest of mourning doves roosting in the highest most window, and when Esther knocked heavily on the door, they scattered in a spray of frayed twigs and shed feathers.

“Pepper?” Esther called, pushing her glasses up her nose. “It’s me! It’s Esther!”

There was no answer, though Esther had had to knock a few times last time she was here. At least it wasn’t raining this time, though with how full the clouds looked, that wasn’t guaranteed.

She knocked again.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Esther continued. “I had realized that leaving a letter behind probably wasn’t the best idea, considering how our realms are isolated from each other.”

Still no answer.

Pepper, a rather innocuous-looking Scarfox, was sitting upstairs by the highest most window. She had been staring blankly at the nesting doves and the bright sky and the youthful grass, lost in the fog once again. She couldn’t help it. No matter how hard she tried, the fog would not lift, and the past would not reveal itself to her.

The birds were scared by the cacophonous knocking and Pepper had to shake herself back into action. It was easier this time and for that, she was grateful. Esther seemed to work like a well-oiled machine, knocking on the door every thirty or so seconds, waiting for a response, and knocking again when there wasn’t one.

And it was odd how Pepper had missed the sound of her voice. So warm and kind and unfitting for a creature as big and intimidating as Esther.

She opened the door.

“You’re here!” Esther cried with genuine mirth. She was dressed in a raincoat and had a huge umbrella strapped to her back. “I mean, I could hear you moving around but I didn’t want to be rude.”

“Hello, Esther,” Pepper said. Despite how she felt, a smile did not come to her. “Investigating another magical anomaly?”

“Not quite,” Esther replied. “I’m here to see you, actually. No investigation necessary.”

“See me?”

“Yeah. Like I said before, I realized...admittedly a little too late, that leaving a letter in a language that you wouldn’t understand was a bit of a bad call on my part. So I wanted to come back. Took a bit longer than I would have liked but it turns out that interdimensional travel is something that’s very rare.”

Esther talked a lot, just like last time, but Pepper didn’t mind it so much. Unlike last time, however, there was a bit more confidence in the way she carried herself.

“I’m not going to ask to come in though,” she continued. “I was actually wondering if you would come out! Of course, you don’t have to, but I wanted to ask anyway.”

“Why?”

Pepper involuntarily grew stiff, clutching at the bow around her. Go outside? But there were so many strange things out there and they were unfamiliar. It had taken long enough for her to get used to her closest neighbors in Woolhope. She was done with exploring. It was better to stay here and work on whatever it was she was even doing, which even months later was something she struggled with.

The question seemed to catch Esther off guard because she cleared her throat nervously and looked away, her white fur standing on end a little bit.

“Oh, I, uh, well.” She fumbled for her words. “I just related to your situation last time, you know? And I thought you were very nice. And. I, uh, well I noticed that nobody really comes around here still. Like last time, I understood a little bit. But, you know.”

Pepper did know, at least a little. She was a bit odd. And had a habit of fleeing or snarling at other Scarfoxes even though she had no real reason to do either of those things. When she was surprised, she lost control of herself. And, so far, the only thing that really helped was sitting by herself in her neglected shack or rubbing her nose.

“I’m not very nice,” Pepper said finally. “I don’t want anyone to bother me because I am afraid of them.”

Esther blinked. Pepper didn’t look all that scary, but Esther had also spent enough time observing her surroundings that she knew that there were sharp teeth and magical elements at play. And there was a culture that she had no experience with. But she also knew what it was like to be lost. She was born lost.

“Are you afraid of me?”

Pepper blinked in surprise, her dark eyes lighting up. The fight or flight. “Yes. I think.”

Esther took a step back. She knew not to push boundaries, and she hunched over a little to appear smaller. Clasped her hands together in earnest and withdrew her tendrils. Nice and compact and smaller and sweet. “I’m sorry,” Pepper added, though her heart wasn’t in it. “It’s not you. I’m just-”

She didn’t bother finishing her sentence. She was just what? Scared or violent with no in-between? Permanently wondering a fog that never lifted? Unsure of where to go from here? Scared of her own kind?

“That’s okay,” Esther replied, though the hurt in her voice was barely subdued. “Well, I’m still going to invite you to the Hidden Garden.”

“Why?”

“Well, I heard from some of the other residents that you might get to see the Mini God if you go and find a clover.”

“No, I mean why are you inviting me?”

“Because I think you need someone to tell you to get out of the house sometimes. When I was in rehab, my sponsor told me to do that a lot.”

Pepper once again blinked, though she did not resist. None of this was adding up. Esther barely knew her and was being so kind and concerned, and Pepper didn’t know how to feel about that. The thought of someone wanting to do something like this because they were being helpful was alien. People didn’t do things like that. There was always an ulterior motive.

But, Pepper supposed, Esther wasn’t exactly like other people.

She contemplated just shutting the door and going back upstairs to wait until the birds came back. It would have been rude, sure, but Pepper didn’t care about what others thought of her. She was too busy “trying to write her own story” as the bodiless voice had expected her to. And sitting in the fog was just as legitimate as going to find some Mini God. Either would have been sufficient, but Pepper understood on some level that she would not fulfill the requirements of telling her story if she didn’t actually go out and do anything of note.

Maybe building a friendship with a Crook counted. Maybe potentially seeing the Mini God counted.

“Fine,” Pepper said finally. “I’ll go with you.”

Esther smiled wide as Pepper briefly closed the door to her cottage only to return moments later with a coat and a scarf. It was flu season, and if there was one thing Pepper could recall through the fog, it was that spring was deceptive in its warmth. This was when people let their guard down. When the flu was at its fiercest. Though that could have been an old tale as well.

Better safe than sorry.

Neither Pepper nor Esther really knew how the whole Hidden Garden thing worked. Nobody really knew how it worked exactly, though that was to be expected when seeking the companionship of a God. Esther was astounded by every little thing she saw, and while Pepper mostly let Esther talk, she did find herself speculating alongside her.

The way there had to be some mystical magics that were native only to this realm, right? Perhaps if they simply wished for it, then they would be taken there. It wasn’t either of those things. The mere act of desiring to visit the Hidden Garden to attend to the festivities was enough. Perhaps, even, the Mini God was excited that they were going to have visitors.

They blinked, and Pepper and Esther were in the Hidden Garden.

Not so hidden. There were many Scarfoxes already enjoying the festivities. The smell of sweet early flowers and overwhelmingly fresh trees permeated the area, and there was a lazily rippling pool guarded by low wild bushes with colorful berries by the handful poking through the leaves.

“I was expecting something more mystical,” Pepper said, clearly unimpressed.

Esther did not share that sentiment, for she immediately went wide-eyed again and proceeded to point out every detail she could about the world around her. Pepper found it oddly endearing. That naivety was an admirable trait. Esther was experiencing the present and cherishing every moment of it, and Pepper was content to let her do that.

“Do you think we’ll see them? The Mini God?”

Pepper was pulled from the lure of the fog once more as Esther leaned close to her face. In her surprise, Pepper gasped, and in a puff of magical mist, she shrank down to her own Mini form, her coat swathing her and her scarf piling on her head. She was the same cream color all over, though she lost the eggs that nested in her wild and curly hair, and her vest was gone. She was now much shorter and cuter than ever before, and this embarrassed her.

No, not now. She couldn’t be this small now. She hadn’t even really figured out how it all worked.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to scare you, Pepper,” Esther said, covering her mouth.

“It’s fine,” Pepper barked unconvincingly, a snarl peeling out of her.

Esther decided to back off once again. She’d done it, she scared Pepper and now Pepper was going to withdraw and never make progress. It was her overeagerness to finally help someone that she could relate to that was getting in her way.

“I’ll just head over there for a bit.”

Pepper was content when Esther wandered away. She wasn’t a particular fan of being Mini, as many looked down at her and viewed her as someone who needed to be doted upon. To be complimented and protected and babied. Perhaps that was the charm of being Mini. Being Mini was a way to survive.

Pepper left her coat in a heap but managed to wrap the scarf around her neck, though it was ridiculous seeing such a long train of wool attached to a Mini Scarfox. She was mostly unbothered though as she dragged herself to the edge of the pool that centered the Hidden Garden.

The water was crystal clear. Pepper could see the rippling reflections of other Scarfoxes as they pranced and played. There was a sickly envy that washed over her as she found herself staring. Coveting what they had. Freedom from the fog, friends, purpose. All things that she didn’t have right now. All things she couldn’t see herself ever being able to have.

“You seem troubled, dearie.”

Pepper stared into the water, perking her ears at the familiar voice. The same one she had heard in the forest upon first awakening far outside of Woolhope. The one who had told her that she was writing her own story. “Go away!” Pepper growled. “I don’t want to hear your voice.”

“Feisty, hmm? An interesting direction to take.”

“I said leave me alone!”

“I’m just trying to do my job, Pepper.”

“I don’t care.”

“I am here to help if you can believe it. I have more pages logged for you after all.”

Pepper curled more into herself, though the water did begin to ripple more violently as her reflection was accompanied by another Scarfox. This one was a deep navy blue and wore a whimsical ensemble of lighter blues and golds, with fancy adornments on the tail and plush gold line arms. As soon as Pepper saw the reflection, she looked up in alarm and was greeted with the physical manifestation of the reflection.

“Don’t be alarmed, dearie,” the Scarfox said. “My name is Astral. Didn’t exactly have the chance to speak at length last time, hmm?”

Pepper remembered. Astral was supposed to leave her alone until she figured out how she was supposed to start her story. Start it better than she had.

“I didn’t figure anything out,” Pepper replied.

“That much is evident,” Astral said. “Not in a bad way. I have seen many a Scarfox start on their journies and go through an incredible rebirth. You seem very similar to them. This isn’t a bad thing, of course. You’ll find that these sorts of events are just a means to getting closer to who you are meant to be.”

“I don’t like any of these people,” Pepper said. “I’m better off not being here at all.”

“I have heard of your exploits so far, dearie.” Astral grinned wide and made biting motions. “Seems you fancied yourself a bit of an aggressive demeanor. No harm in that. Or rather, there is harm in that but some of us are okay with that. I pass no judgments on you.”

“Why not? Everybody else does.”

“Well, like I mentioned before, I have a job to do and you’re really making that difficult for me. How else am I supposed to supply you with the pages that you need to tell your story in The Grand Scheme if you have no drive?” “That sounds like your problem, honestly.”

Astral laughed. It was sweet and wise and full of mirth. He liked this one.

“Keep that bite if nothing else. The Mini God would like that.”

Pepper looked away from Astral, back down at their reflections in the rippling water, which began to ripple more violently again. There was a softness to her vision like she was falling into something akin to a drunken stupor. That was weird.

“Looks like they’re already at it,” Astral said, undisturbed. “What a way to make an impression, no?”

Pepper’s mind buzzed, filled with the feeling of bees swarming over a new queen. She wasn’t entirely sure if she liked this, but it at least made the fog feel a little less oppressive. Like she could have the chance to start anew.

“I’m still not ready,” Pepper said, running her hands through the grass and picking at it aimlessly. “I still don’t know what I want to be. I want to be left alone, but I also…”

“Yes?” Astral’s voice was inquisitive, though it was obvious that he was looking for something specific.

“But I also want to show them all that I am capable of greatness. They all thought I couldn’t handle myself. That I was weak.”

“Hmm?” Astral’s smile was wider than ever. Pepper was so close to reaching the epiphany that all Scarfoxes eventually came to. So soon. It felt obscene in a way to witness this intimate moment. Pepper picked at the grass a bit more. The fog was lifting and she was so certain she had her path in life laid out before her. About how she had been selected to have another opportunity to make herself into something she could be proud of.

And just like that, the fog resettled over her mind. She had only taken away one thing from all that stress: she didn’t want to be seen as weak.

Astral seemed content with this. According to his notes, Pepper was backlogged quite a bit by her indecisiveness. This was going to get her back on track, even if the Mini God only decided to show up for a brief moment of unintentional clarity. Astral was going to have to talk to them about that another time.

“Dearest Pepper,” Astral said, standing up and bowing deeply. “I will leave you to your own devices. I implore you to keep soul searching. Find what you decide to be your motivation. Determine why you think the Goddess birthed you in this way. And do not be afraid of change. I’m sure we’ll speak again in the future. Your backlog will await you. Until then. Good luck.”

Pepper blinked, picking out a clover from the bundles of grass she had thrown into the water. “Fine.”

She waited until the night had fallen before she decided to get up from her spot. Her coat was gone, as were many of the other visitors to the garden. She supposed in some small way that she was disappointed that she hadn’t seen the Mini God. She might have been able to ask about how her power worked or get it taken away.

She didn’t see Esther.

When Pepper returned to her shack in Woolhope, there was a package at her door with a sloppily written note nestled in the folds of the package. It hadn’t rained, though the clouds from earlier were much less inviting at this time of night and the biting cold of a not-yet-finished winter had returned.

Pepper picked up the package and pushed open the door, full-sized after her excursion into the Hidden Garden. Once she was inside, she peeled the heavy paper package open and found her coat, neatly folded with bits of grass clinging to the cuffs. The note was from one of the other residents of Woolhope, mentioning that Esther had returned the coat before leaving and was sorry once again for scaring her.

Pepper sighed and draped the coat over the kitchen chair. She’d be better prepared the next time Esther showed. If she ever showed.

And in a way, Pepper hoped that she didn’t.